24th January 2022

Nothing to celebrate?


What are you celebrating?

Not much? Nothing? Why are you even asking?

I hear you and this is for you.

This is for you if you don’t feel you’re growing as you’d planned or hoped, or if you are questioning who you are, what you’re doing and where you’re going.

You are not alone.

January is a funny time. It’s often used as an opportunity to reflect on the year before and it can be powerful to look back and to notice the wins you’ve overlooked in your “busyness” and to encourage greater stretch and growth in the year to come.

But looking back can also draw you in to the trap of comparison.

Comparison is normal and natural but it is also a trap that can make you forget what’s really important; your values, the reason you do what you do, your relationships, who you really are.

It’s a trap based on what you see of others and the stories you make up about who you think they are, what you think they’ve done (or not done) and how you think they feel inside.

And, when you get in to it, it’s rarely about others and much more about how you feel you measure up to an idealised version of yourself.
“If only I were [more intelligent, wittier, more decisive, braver, more diligent] I would be more successful.”

The trap means you are comparing yourself (a real person) to an imaginary version of someone else (a partial picture of a real person) or, more likely, a perfect version of yourself (not a real person).

Is it any wonder you fall short?

Reflection is not about comparison with others or the “perfect you”.
Reflection is all about who you really are. It’s about acknowledging your imperfections and mistakes and disappointments and accepting their presence. It’s an opportunity to ask yourself questions without emotional attachment and to draw out learning and areas where you are committed to do something different.

This is about being who you really are.

And that is worth celebrating.